It's been a while....

since I wrote down my inner thoughts and feelings.

James: Well nothing has changed. His mom died and he called. I went to visitation-his sister said she was surprised I came. Uh? Ok. He continued to call for my advise with decorating his home. Too many cooks - me, his sisters, and galpals so I've backed out of that drama. I had a nervous breakdown two weeks ago. Soooo...many stresses to handle alone. I know others seem to have the companionship I seek but I have been the subject of such envy and it wasn't all that for real. We had dinner last Saturday but I'm not feeling him (or him me it seems). I think I have actually moved on and will break the ties with him. Probably because I met...

Soldier Boy: He email me on BPM. Called or emailed daily. Said so much he upped and forgot most of it but what a weekend. I have never had sex on the first date but I did this time. It was wonderful. The best I ever got. Made me sweat. Well, it's been two weeks today and only one half-ass email. I knew the game so that's ok but gee it was niceeee. :) I hope one day I will be blessed to have Mr. Wonderful come into my life.

Dear daughter: She's sweet. Glad she is doing well. Hope she maintains focus. I'm really thinking about allowing her to have Seasonale. It would take some stress off me. Wondering.....worrying....

Oh yeah, gotta share this. XDH has been hitting of James' sista. Now ain't that funny! :)

More of the same James shit

Well, he called shortly after I finished posting my very first bloglog and off I went. Heart skipping, back in love again to run back into the same thing. I can't even pray i.e. talk to God about this foolishness. You would think I would have more pride and sense. Bam, bam head against the wall. Ok, ok...now I'm pass that drama. What man would let me drive home at 4:30 a.m.? AND what nut would say I'm not mad. I wasn't mad but I sure in the hell was pissed. Ok, I'm pass that drama. Yeah, right.

The Blog

Hummm...the purpose of this blog is for me to have a place to share my private thoughts. You know, those thoughts and feeling that I don't want everyone or even anyone to know about.

I guess the first thing I want to say is, "It's a bitch being an only child." I have always hated it and it's no better now. It would be so nice to have a sister to talk, to be genetically linked to another person. Maybe then I wouldn't have to talk to imaginary people in cyberspace. (Where is the lopsided smile smiley face when I need one?)

James and I seem to have had our last hurrah. I asked why???? and boy did I get more than I bargained for. More later...I think I'm going to set up a Laird family blog. You know I've been single since 2.99. That is an awfully long time. I would have thought that I would have found someone by now, at least someone who thought I was special and I found a spark with me but nope. I have had opportunities-I guess. I guess I should be grateful for that. On to the Laird Family Blog.